To the Ladies

Ok, so this girl I know recently asked me for some advice about how to get a guy to notice her. I was, of course, completely flattered to know that my opinion actually mattered to someone. Well, I've had a number of girls ask me similar questions lately, and I figured what I say to one, I might as well say to all. Because let's face it, as "different" as everyone is, attracting the opposite sex can usually be boiled down to a loose formula of some type. So here's what I told her, pasted here for all the world to see and either marvel at my simple yet sublime genius, or revile my utter idiocy and ignorance. Enjoy.

Ok, first of all I'll tell you what I tell every other girl i know. Confidence is hot. This cannot be overstated. That is always true in every circumstance, at least, it's true for the guys that are worth keeping. Trust me on this. If you got it, flaunt it. if you don't got it, fake it. that's categorical, no excuses. I think you're confident, but what I think doesn't matter, know what i'm sayin?

Right, so, you like this guy, he doesn't know you're interested, so you wanna change that but not come on too strong. As far as I'm concerned, if a girl is easygoing, happy, and especially pokes gentle fun at/with me, it's a good way of telling me "hey, she might like me, but I dunno, I should check this out." then bam, he's coming after you. Basically the idea is to flirt a little and pull back. You might just invite him out on a group thing, like, I dunno, a show or some other activity, sporting event, what have you. That way you have friends there and you don't have to always pay attention to him. Generally I discourage just hanging out if you're trying to get romantic, but it's fine if you're trying to get someone to notice you. You're cool, right? You know how to have a good time, don't you? So let him see that. Don't show him, let him see, see the difference? That's the gist.

Now, whether or not he takes the initiative and asks you out is completely out of your hands, and, as you know, men are too often, to put it lightly, stupid and reticent about that kind of thing for the most part. SO you might even just ask him on a date. I mean, that's what I did w/ marisa. (despite what you might think, I am most definitely NOT a master of subtlety and I don't normally play games, at least for too long. I like to get to the point, but a lot of ppl can't handle that, so I haven't had too many women come a'calling.) Sometimes we just have to accept the fact that, despite our best efforts, we can't control what other people do and whether they can get over themselves and do what we'd like.

So that's my suggestion. Let him see how cool you are outside church, pay a little attention to him, make fun of him a little bit, just have fun and freewheel some when he's around, see if he bites. If he doesn't, maybe just screw that and ask him out and if he still doesn't take the hint, toss him to the curb w/ the trash. If he's worth it, he'll come running back and ask you out, and even then he had better be freaking sincere about it. If not, then trust me, he wasn't worth it in the first place, and I'm not just saying that to make you feel better. He's not worth it if he's that stupid or if he doesn't at least reciprocate the time and effort you put in to getting him to notice you.

Lemme know what you think.
Todd